Love thy neighbor, not their kids only

Tatut and I are socially handicapped when it comes to dealing with neighbors. Well, actually in dealing with strangers in general. We're bad at small talk. We prefer to read or listening to our iPods when we travel, or at hair salon (or in family gathering, ha!). At parties, we like to observe first before having the courage to talk to other people. No wonder we needed our friends to be our matchmaker haha.

Back to dealing with neighbors, we had that job done for us all our lives. Before getting married, Tatut lived with her mother and sister in the same house since he was a kid. While I, even after moving out of my parents' house, always lived in a rented room that did not require me to get in touch with the neighbors, especially with my weird working hours as a reporter.

When we moved into our own house three years ago, we didn't really know what to do with the neighbors. But we knew we had to introduce ourselves to them. A few houses next to and across ours were still vacant, so there left the house on our right and across, on the right. Instead of knocking to the houses, however, we waited til we bumped into them to have a brief introduction.

We felt that we had to mingle with the neighbors, but we never did. In our defense, there's no good time to do it. We leave early in the morning and go back late at night, and on weekend, we just want stay home and get some rest, or go out. Many of our neighbors are going away on weekend too. So, the most social thing we do so far is saying hi and bye, smile our best, wave to the kids ("Oh, what's his name?" "Hiiii Theo! What'cha you doin?" "Hiiiii, Phoebe. Byeeee, Phoebe"), and giving collective contribution for the security once a year. During hari raya, everybody leaves for their hometown, and by the time we get back, we would dwell into the same routine that keep us from getting close to the neighbors.

Up until now, we still forget the name of our neighbors. Except for the kids, Theo and Phoebe, who live in the house to our right. We feel bad from time to time for not knowing our neighbors well, and we wish we had been better neighbor, but never do anything about it. We feel bad especially because our neighbors are so nice, friendly, never been nosy or loud or do anything annoying. They're very understanding toward this socially awkward young couple.

Yesterday afternoon, when we got back home from buying groceries, the bapak2 who live across us came over. He said he and his wife were going to have a small ceremony today to celebrate their going to Hajj pilgrimage next month, so he invited us to come around lunch time.

We were really anxious about it because Tatut had to go somewhere today and only got back late afternoon, which meant I had to go by myself. Without the other, any of us is doubly awkward. I could just not going, but we vowed to be the better neighbor when the opportunity presents itself. And now that the opportunity came, we'd better not ruin it! We planned to go there in the morning together, but then decided that I would be the sole representative of our socially-disabled household.

Then came lunch time, and anxiety heightened. I took a peek from my window and saw a lot of chairs outside of the bapak2 house, but only few people around. Took a peek 15 minutes later, and saw people start coming, and they all wore the so-called Islamic clothes. That made me even more nervous.

I then changed my clothes into loose pants and long-sleeve tunic, and waited. Watched from my window again, but didn't have the courage to go. I called Tatut up and asked whether to go or not, which of course annoyed him and told me to just go. But I bet he would be as chicken as me if it's the other way around.

I decided to wait a little longer, and watched TV. I started to feel hot in the outfit, and thinking to just go and get it over with. Suddenly, there was a loud sound from the bapak2's speaker. Wow, they had sound system and all. Apparently, they had some Koran reciting, preach, and chanting. I was glad I hadn't gone. I then decided to wait for Tatut so that we could go together. I changed into shorts.

An hour later, the speaker announced that it was time to congratulate the couple going to pilgrimage and then had lunch. I stood up quickly and changed, thinking it was the perfect time. Finally, I went there, waited in line with other people and wish the couple the best, and headed home.

I felt so relieved, like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulder. What a loser.

Posted by hera at Sunday, October 26, 2008 6:31 PM | Permalinks