I don't like posting song lyrics in my blog. It's like, if you don't have some things to say, then don't write. But this song by Paula Cole really represents my present state of being, something that I can't write here cause it's too personal and simply uninteresting and self indulgent.
It's a great song. I really love the video too cause it personifies the many faces of women really well, with splashes of different colors, in different surroundings. Beautiful.

Me
Paula Cole

I am not the person who is singing
I am the silent one inside
I am not the one who laughs at people's jokes
I just pacify their egos
I am not my house, my car, my songs
They only stop along my way
I am like the winter, I'm a dark cold female
With a golden ring of wisdom in my cave

And it's me who is my enemy.. Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters.. Me who strips my confidence

I am carrying my voice, I am carrying my heart
I am carrying my rhythm, I am carrying my prayers
But you can't kill my spirit, it's soaring and it's strong
Like a mountain, I'll go on and on
But when my wings are folded, the brightly colored moth
Blends into the dirt into the ground

And it's me who's too weak, And it's me who's too shy
To ask for the things I love
And it's me who's too weak, And it's me who's too shy
To ask for the things I love
That I love...

I am walking on the bridge, I am over the water
And I'm scared as hell, But I know there's something better
Yes, I know there's something better
Yes I know, yes I know, yes I know
That I love..
But it's me..
And it's me ...
But it's me ..

Posted by hera at 10:59 AM | Permalinks | Comments   

Everyone is talking about Indonesian contestant in Miss Universe 2006, Nadine Chandrawinata. I kinda like her cause she was pretty cool in Realita, Cinta, dan Rock 'N Roll -- by far one of the best Indonesian movies of all time. Her acting is stiff at times, but understandable since it was her first movie. At least she's better than Mariana's performance in Janji Joni (sorry, Jok hehe). But like many who read the script and watched the video of her interview, I was quite shocked by Nadine's flawed English and obviously scripted answers.

But my best friend gave an interesting comment. He said "It's a beauty pageant, for god's sake. Everyone's supposed to be stupid. In fact, she's the perfect template of a beauty pageant contestant."

I think he's got the point. People have been taking this Miss Universe thingy too seriously. From the Muslim hardliners surely, to those who think that participating in this contest will be a good campaign for Indonesian tourism (have people been flocking to Venezuela? Don't think so), and the rest who condemn Nadine for tarnishing the image of our country (really? do we even have a good one? By the way, remember Pamela Bordes? No? Exactly, hehe.).

I've always been indifferent about beauty pageant. I'm not a fan, but not against it either. Sure, it's great for women to be smart, in fact all women should be smart. But if some are aspired to become model, beauty queen, or Playboy bunny and any other profession that doesn't require over 80 point of IQ, let them be. It's a matter of choice, and I think no basic human rights are violated here.

But a beauty pageant is just about beauty, period. If Angelina Sondakh insisted that it's about brain and behavior as well, she can shove her big mouth off her ass.
So, if Nadine gave less (or far less) than intelligent answers, give her a break. Besides, If beauty pageant contestants are also brainy, then what's left for ordinary looking girls like myself?
Just sit back and enjoy another rerun of Miss Congeniality. It's funny, entertaining, and it shows exactly how a beauty pageant should be seen: With tongue firmly in cheek. And don't forget, what do you all wish for? Yes, world peace.

Posted by hera at 6:27 PM | Permalinks | Comments   

1. It's been hard, I've been working like a dog. Only for small bones. Now, this dog is exhausted like hell. Like dog in hell.

2. My friend Jeffry (puas lo?? hehe) said early this year that those Dragonians or whose Chinese horoscope symbol is dragon, should be aware of bad things in 2006. I'm a non-believer, so I shouldn't bloody believe in such thing, right? But desperate hours call for desperate measure. After a series of failed attempts and ailments, I can't help thinking about the curse of dragonians. Jeper monyet :)

3. I just fired my maid. Wow, I'm such a grownup! There was this lady who knocked our door and offered her service, so we hired her to clean our house once a week. Her job is simple basically: Nyuci-ngepel-gosok. It's such a small house anyway, and there are only two of us so that would be easy, right? She agreed with the payment, plus we gave her 'bonus' like newspaper for her to sell, food, and used clothes.

But some people like to take things for granted. I'm not bitchy about maid, and I know nobody's perfect and that if she's that smart, she wouldn't have become maid in the first place. I had given up her 'asal' way of cleaning the bathroom. But then she came late. And then reaally late. And she excused herself after only did one task because she would go to kondangan. Fine, I thought, girl needed to have fun. But after three times, and coming veeeerry late, that was it. I told her not to bother come the next week.

People in this country are just greedy from top to bottom. The silver lining tho, I got much much better maid now, called Mbak Sumi. I really, really hope she's here to stay.

4. I'm so the opposite of green thumb. I'm, like, the antithesis of Midas. Each and every plant in my house dried up and slowly die :'(. I swear, I've watered them everyday.

5. I'm really thinking about going freelance. But still considering it, too risky. Can't hold on for long to severance payment. But can't stand working in this shithole any longer. Don't know, we'll see.

6. Oh, my dear sis has just given birth to another baby girl named Haura; another Arabic name, but not so difficult to say, unlike her big sis, Najya. Haura, my sis said, means 'woman who inhabits heaven'. Oh kay :) Welcome to this rotten world, Haura, don't be bad. Crack is whack (apa sih?:)).

Posted by hera at 3:53 PM | Permalinks | Comments